Ch-ch-ch-ch-change Is…

Hard? Good/Bad? Inevitable? Change has been described as rebirth, a fresh start, or the turning tide, but it is so much more than just a cliché. Sometimes, it involves evolution, and other times, devolution. Fortunes can change for the better or worse. However, each change (and every change process) represents a unique experience that permanently alters our perspective and sense of self. Each new experience gives us a broader understanding of our world, influences our emotional relationships with others, and allows us to know ourselves more deeply.

The last few years have been full of change for me. I ended a 20-year relationship, sold my house, moved 4,000 miles away from the only life I had ever known, got married, and started rebuilding my life from the ground up. Now, I’m embarking on what I expect to be a fulfilling new career. These are the big changes, the ones everyone sees. But along with all those major changes, I’ve made countless small changes that few people notice.

I added self-care routines to my life. I started investing time in knowing myself and listening to my heart. I sat with my fears, facing them with compassion and resolve rather than trying to deny their existence or pretend I felt fine. The changes I’ve experienced in the last 5 years have softened my attitudes, opened my heart to new experiences, and enriched my soul beyond what I could have envisioned at the start of 2020.

I’ll be the first to admit—not all change is created equal, and not all change is voluntary. Each day brings new challenges and opportunities, and while we can’t control the inevitable march of time, we can choose how we react to the changes it brings. That’s where awareness and intentionality come in. When you are aware of how you’re changing, you can be intentional about your role in that change.

When life is going well, unexpected change can seem more like devastating destruction than an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Some people feel uncomfortable when life is going well because they are afraid they will lose the hard-earned progress they’ve made. Their discomfort can be so overwhelming that they self-sabotage by calling their fears into form. I used to be that girl. Sometimes, I still struggle with those old patterns, but I’ve begun to look at change from a new perspective. Now, I try hard to find the opportunity in the challenges. Opportunity is always there. It is just a matter of perspective.

We don’t always have a choice in the face of external events. But we do have control over how we respond to the events that occur. The last few months have seen many people lose their homes and livelihoods to floods and fires. These changes are colossally devastating. Entire neighborhoods and towns have been destroyed and will never be the same. These people are likely experiencing some of the biggest changes and greatest challenges in their lives. Some might not rebuild. Others will build back better and stronger. Some will stay and work to bring normalcy back to their lives and communities. Others might never return, deciding to build a new life elsewhere. All are experiencing change. In almost all cases, those changes are accompanied by loss and grief. However, it is important to separate the concept of change from the idea of loss. Change also represents choice.

When we face difficult changes, we rarely feel hope and optimism. It can be hard to embrace change when we see it as a threat to life as we know it or the loss of all we hold dear. However, by embracing change and responding with intention, we affirm our commitment to living our best life and exercise our ability to create the outcomes we want. I used to spend a lot of time fearing the future (sometimes I still do—I’m only human), but now, as much as possible, when I think about change, I also think about choice and focus as much as possible on my power to create the world I want to live in.

I’ve created Wominspired because I’m finally ready to exercise my power to change not just myself but also the world around me. I hope you’ll join me on my journey and that we can support and inspire each other as we work to build the kind of world we want to live in. 

Mahalo,

Anna